Erin! Your light shines like a disco ball on a sunny afternoon! You're so beautifully creative! What else is possible with the fountain of energy that emerges at this stage of the 'whatever the fuck' cycle? Here's an answer to your question: "if anyone knows how to get off this heckin hamster wheel, the comments are OPEN."
As a former frequent crier in the wilderness, and then therapist to frequent criers who tend to be incredibly creative, I love it that you came up with this beautiful map! Here's how to begin to change the cycle...:
First, the secret to getting off the hamster wheel is to slow it down. Don't try to jump off, just slow it down and notice the value of each step. It's too intense. To make it less intense, take smaller steps. You know each step, take each one gently, and the quality of the steps gets softer.
Next: look at each stage of the map and frame it as a USEFUL step. For example: TASK AVOIDANCE might mean that more rest is needed, and/or the task pile is too high. Play around with your choices; rest more/lower expectations. BIG RESISTANCE arrives in response to BIG INSISTENCE or BIG DEMANDS, so lower the expectations, and then follow the tiny impulse toward something you want to do in the moment. NUMB AND DETACH: this step might disappear if the two previous get soft enough (You used this word, 'softer,' you already know this, right?) Until they do, take numb and detach as another invitation to hermit and recover, which is just slowing down, taking it easy...
And then: Here's the stage of the map that just needs an attitude edit: URGENCY! If you've slowed down, and you've done your resting, the impulse to clean the kitchen comes through! Not because you HAVE to, but because a clean kitchen feels GOOD and suddenly you have some energy to do it! So does a shower, some hugs and a vegetable, and maybe a good cry, with gratitude and relief. Can you feel the difference between urgency and interest or desire?
Frantic urgency is no longer the speed of resetting. What a relief! Spinning the cycles, riding the waves with ease makes a huge difference. That dear little hamster might like that bite of vegetable, and a nice nap in the cloud of shredded newsprint...The wheel is always there when you feel like taking a refreshing, leisurely spin... Thanks for letting me join in the play!
BIG RESISTANCE arrives in response to BIG INSISTENCE. alden, you are a freaking gem. I am also treasuring this part: If you've slowed down, and you've done your resting, the impulse to clean the kitchen comes through! that is absolutely what it feels like when i've rested enough. the impulse is tinted with urgency when BIG CONSEQUENCES are at my door. one question I have been asking myself in all this is: how can I rest so that I truly feel rested? there is so much that looks like 'rest' that is actually distraction/numbing, and afterward I don't feel rested at all. this is where your "slow it down" suggestion comes in, I think. really slow down to weigh my options and make steps toward real rest. I think that will help avoid the 'numb and detach' step. anyway, I could blather on and on about this, but really I just want you to know that I am finding great wisdom and value in your message and I am so very appreciative of you!
Thank you, Erin. Kind of sweet to run across this right when I'm in an avoidance loop. I just can't tell if there's a ripening process going on, a wave I just can't push, or if I'm just going with the season, cooling down, getting quiet, going dormant for a while. Still chopping wood, carrying water, but just not so productive. Path of Ease is really appealing right now! Do you see a seasonal shifting in your overall mapping? I love to find ways to let myself off hooks and give myself permission to enjoy where I am.
ooo yes ALL OF THE ABOVE: “a sensitive introvert thing? an adhd thing? a pmdd thing? a phone addiction thing? a living-through-the-end-times thing?” I esp. resonate with the phone addiction, adhd, and the-end-times thing. PLUS can’t wait to listen to your playlist… cuz otherwise I’m clueless as to what to listen to. ❤️
So happy I found your Substack. So relatable. Chronic illness/pain girlie over here and the jaw pain is real. Ali Hazelwood is my favorite. Your emotional rollercoaster map is spot on. I'm highly sensitive, introverted, and have ADHD too so it's hard to distill what aspect of all of those leads to that glorious cycle of emotions and behaviors, but I think that's an excellent representation of it and yes send to your therapist!
This whole post makes my Saturday morning, from your brilliant graphic at the top to the perfect meme at the end (as I type this comment while listening to your playlist) 👏🙏❤️🥳🙌
solo travel your way to northern thailand so we can go drink chai and figure out the hamster wheel that is that cycle together because same. I think I'm around #5 atm unless I'm still just decompressing from the chaos of my month so far. I'm not sure how to tell the difference.
also I love the bonus category!!!! some of these very same questions have been on my mind lately, too. especially the eating before bed one because that's something I just can't figure out!!!! If you do, please let me know your findings. It's hard being human.
Yup! Currently at #7 after a frenzied #6 morning. sitting outside next to my chickens, journal on my lap (and yes I wrote things down before coming back here. Not to IG! Win!). Oh and definitely hormones (and adhd) related for me. I wonder what the next step 1 will be?!
I haven't found a solution to the hamster wheel yet, but I have gotten far better at recognizing it faster so the loop get tighter and less impactful on the things I enjoy.
This is going to sound weird, but the thing you wrote about today is a CLASSIC Tundra strategy from our Author Ecosystem, and also a CLASSIC phoenix problem. I did this thing recently might help. https://www.theauthorstack.com/p/bodywork
But if you want copy of my Author Ecosystems book, message me.
Dang I eat all the way up to bedtime if I am hungry! I hate waking up hungry, but I don’t mind waking up full and waiting to eat until 11 am if that feels good.
Yes! I had a creative hangover in June after I pumped out a series of podcasts in May.
Honestly, it took a lot longer to get back to step 7 than I thought it would. But I did.
As timing would have it while feeling creatively and otherwise numbed out, I recorded this episode about the creative funk/flow with Andrea of Ova The Moon on substack. It's kinda her thing- cycling creatively.
Later I did notice that probably my dopamine levels are screwy, yes the phone, yes the pace of our techno world, but also my hormones in flux, so I started taking L-tyrosine after realizing no amount of dark chocolate was cutting it. Chocolate has some l tyrosine in it and figured that's what my body was really after. Its been a game changer. Added bonus that it supports my low thyroid.
Okay, hopefully not too much TMI.
You aren't alone in the creative funk.
Lots of love and patience/rest.
New environment and salty beach air/waves is always calming for the nervous system and can at the same time be so inspiring.
I love how the sound of the ocean drowns out my internal monologue and clears the brain fog.
Thanks for the shout! Love that you added Wire to your playlist!
The debate to delete IG is one I’ve been wrestling with too. It used to be such a calming place- now it’s anything but. A couple of friends use it as the main way to communicate, but it’s probably (past) time to ask them to text instead.
I’d also second that method of travel- it’s just enough structure to appease the pragmatic parts of us, but leaves enough room for change to keep things exciting. As an airline employee, this is also a practical way to plan, since you never know where you might actually end up.
Erin! Your light shines like a disco ball on a sunny afternoon! You're so beautifully creative! What else is possible with the fountain of energy that emerges at this stage of the 'whatever the fuck' cycle? Here's an answer to your question: "if anyone knows how to get off this heckin hamster wheel, the comments are OPEN."
As a former frequent crier in the wilderness, and then therapist to frequent criers who tend to be incredibly creative, I love it that you came up with this beautiful map! Here's how to begin to change the cycle...:
First, the secret to getting off the hamster wheel is to slow it down. Don't try to jump off, just slow it down and notice the value of each step. It's too intense. To make it less intense, take smaller steps. You know each step, take each one gently, and the quality of the steps gets softer.
Next: look at each stage of the map and frame it as a USEFUL step. For example: TASK AVOIDANCE might mean that more rest is needed, and/or the task pile is too high. Play around with your choices; rest more/lower expectations. BIG RESISTANCE arrives in response to BIG INSISTENCE or BIG DEMANDS, so lower the expectations, and then follow the tiny impulse toward something you want to do in the moment. NUMB AND DETACH: this step might disappear if the two previous get soft enough (You used this word, 'softer,' you already know this, right?) Until they do, take numb and detach as another invitation to hermit and recover, which is just slowing down, taking it easy...
And then: Here's the stage of the map that just needs an attitude edit: URGENCY! If you've slowed down, and you've done your resting, the impulse to clean the kitchen comes through! Not because you HAVE to, but because a clean kitchen feels GOOD and suddenly you have some energy to do it! So does a shower, some hugs and a vegetable, and maybe a good cry, with gratitude and relief. Can you feel the difference between urgency and interest or desire?
Frantic urgency is no longer the speed of resetting. What a relief! Spinning the cycles, riding the waves with ease makes a huge difference. That dear little hamster might like that bite of vegetable, and a nice nap in the cloud of shredded newsprint...The wheel is always there when you feel like taking a refreshing, leisurely spin... Thanks for letting me join in the play!
BIG RESISTANCE arrives in response to BIG INSISTENCE. alden, you are a freaking gem. I am also treasuring this part: If you've slowed down, and you've done your resting, the impulse to clean the kitchen comes through! that is absolutely what it feels like when i've rested enough. the impulse is tinted with urgency when BIG CONSEQUENCES are at my door. one question I have been asking myself in all this is: how can I rest so that I truly feel rested? there is so much that looks like 'rest' that is actually distraction/numbing, and afterward I don't feel rested at all. this is where your "slow it down" suggestion comes in, I think. really slow down to weigh my options and make steps toward real rest. I think that will help avoid the 'numb and detach' step. anyway, I could blather on and on about this, but really I just want you to know that I am finding great wisdom and value in your message and I am so very appreciative of you!
Thank you, Erin. Kind of sweet to run across this right when I'm in an avoidance loop. I just can't tell if there's a ripening process going on, a wave I just can't push, or if I'm just going with the season, cooling down, getting quiet, going dormant for a while. Still chopping wood, carrying water, but just not so productive. Path of Ease is really appealing right now! Do you see a seasonal shifting in your overall mapping? I love to find ways to let myself off hooks and give myself permission to enjoy where I am.
ooo yes ALL OF THE ABOVE: “a sensitive introvert thing? an adhd thing? a pmdd thing? a phone addiction thing? a living-through-the-end-times thing?” I esp. resonate with the phone addiction, adhd, and the-end-times thing. PLUS can’t wait to listen to your playlist… cuz otherwise I’m clueless as to what to listen to. ❤️
So happy I found your Substack. So relatable. Chronic illness/pain girlie over here and the jaw pain is real. Ali Hazelwood is my favorite. Your emotional rollercoaster map is spot on. I'm highly sensitive, introverted, and have ADHD too so it's hard to distill what aspect of all of those leads to that glorious cycle of emotions and behaviors, but I think that's an excellent representation of it and yes send to your therapist!
This whole post makes my Saturday morning, from your brilliant graphic at the top to the perfect meme at the end (as I type this comment while listening to your playlist) 👏🙏❤️🥳🙌
jenny I am so flattered! thank you for being here and receiving this chaotic little missive.
solo travel your way to northern thailand so we can go drink chai and figure out the hamster wheel that is that cycle together because same. I think I'm around #5 atm unless I'm still just decompressing from the chaos of my month so far. I'm not sure how to tell the difference.
also I love the bonus category!!!! some of these very same questions have been on my mind lately, too. especially the eating before bed one because that's something I just can't figure out!!!! If you do, please let me know your findings. It's hard being human.
Yup! Currently at #7 after a frenzied #6 morning. sitting outside next to my chickens, journal on my lap (and yes I wrote things down before coming back here. Not to IG! Win!). Oh and definitely hormones (and adhd) related for me. I wonder what the next step 1 will be?!
This flow chart isn't "funny" but it is because yesterday I just posted a flow chart I found from a journal I drew in 2013 with a similar vibe! https://meagen.substack.com/p/the-notecard-i-still-carry
I haven't found a solution to the hamster wheel yet, but I have gotten far better at recognizing it faster so the loop get tighter and less impactful on the things I enjoy.
This is going to sound weird, but the thing you wrote about today is a CLASSIC Tundra strategy from our Author Ecosystem, and also a CLASSIC phoenix problem. I did this thing recently might help. https://www.theauthorstack.com/p/bodywork
But if you want copy of my Author Ecosystems book, message me.
Dang I eat all the way up to bedtime if I am hungry! I hate waking up hungry, but I don’t mind waking up full and waiting to eat until 11 am if that feels good.
Yes! I had a creative hangover in June after I pumped out a series of podcasts in May.
Honestly, it took a lot longer to get back to step 7 than I thought it would. But I did.
As timing would have it while feeling creatively and otherwise numbed out, I recorded this episode about the creative funk/flow with Andrea of Ova The Moon on substack. It's kinda her thing- cycling creatively.
Later I did notice that probably my dopamine levels are screwy, yes the phone, yes the pace of our techno world, but also my hormones in flux, so I started taking L-tyrosine after realizing no amount of dark chocolate was cutting it. Chocolate has some l tyrosine in it and figured that's what my body was really after. Its been a game changer. Added bonus that it supports my low thyroid.
Okay, hopefully not too much TMI.
You aren't alone in the creative funk.
Lots of love and patience/rest.
New environment and salty beach air/waves is always calming for the nervous system and can at the same time be so inspiring.
I love how the sound of the ocean drowns out my internal monologue and clears the brain fog.
Here's the podcast episode if you are interested:
https://open.substack.com/pub/womenscycleawareness/p/creative-funk-the-cycles-got-you?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=18pm6g
Thanks for the shout! Love that you added Wire to your playlist!
The debate to delete IG is one I’ve been wrestling with too. It used to be such a calming place- now it’s anything but. A couple of friends use it as the main way to communicate, but it’s probably (past) time to ask them to text instead.
I’d also second that method of travel- it’s just enough structure to appease the pragmatic parts of us, but leaves enough room for change to keep things exciting. As an airline employee, this is also a practical way to plan, since you never know where you might actually end up.
I immediately thought "ADHD", but now I'm thinking how and where PMDD and ADHD intersect and you've opened up a whole new door of possibility for me!