i'm scared!
of these 24 things and these 24 things only definitely not anything else
Hey criers. I’m here because I’m too scared to watch the finale of Dying for Sex, a show that you should watch immediately if you haven’t already, and also because I promised my oldest friend I’d publish this week and I’m scared to disappoint her.
So, what, you’re just here because you’re scared?
Yeah, you’re fuckin right I’m here because I’m scared.
Remember when
did a fearsharing? This post is gonna be kinda like that, except shorter and less good and without the genocidal holiday association.Let’s go.
I’m scared that I can’t hack being a growth strategist on this platform anymore, that after 10+ years working in marketing and 2+ years working with Substackers maybe I’m just another snake oil salesman with nothing valuable to offer.
I’m scared that starting off this list with that first one is too big of a bummer and everyone’s gonna see themselves out now. Well scram, see if I care! Go on, git!
I’m scared that was a weird thing to say and no one will get my Schmidt/White Fang reference.
I’m scared the weird fungus on my left pinky toenail will never go away and even if I paint over it all summer it’ll still be there and I’ll still know it’s there and I’ll have to live with that shame forever.
I’m scared I’ll be chronically exhausted, also forever.
I’m scared of the creases on my forehead and not looking young anymore.
No. I’m scared of losing the access to youthful beauty and the privileges that has afforded me.
No. I’m scared of the mismatch between how I see myself in my head and how I appear in the mirror.
I’m scared being scared of all that makes me a fuckin loser.
I’m scared if I start lifting weights I won’t like it. I already don’t like it and I haven’t even done it yet.
I’m scared if I don’t start lifting weights I’m going to shit out all my muscle mass or whatever the fuck happens and then I’ll just be a flabby sack of weak, wasted potential by the time I’m 40.
I’m scared ChatGPT is going to dry up all my editing work.
I’m scared I’ll never find that perfect low-effort curl routine for my bangs.
I’m scared that we are all, collectively, spiritually unwell and not in a girlboss Alex Cooper way.
I’m scared that getting married to my BSB means I’m a bad feminist, and not in a cool Roxane Gay way.
I’m scared for the neighborhood cat that went missing. If anyone sees Milo lmk. He has bells on and he’s been feeling a lot better since he went on prozac and he loves scritches.
I’m scared of ipad kids.
I’m scared Substack will never improve its shitty dashboard seriously it’s so bad please add basic fuckin features like year over year data or annotations on the traffic graph or the ability to schedule emails or metrics for all the weird automated “boosts” that get sent or WAIT I KNOW metrics for important pages like oh I don’t know the welcome page??? the home page??? the about page?!
I’m scared I won’t have the hot girl summer
and I are both desperate for this year.I’m scared of my dog dying.
I’m scared of governments and weak little men with lots of power.
I’m scared for my friends who are not cis white men.
I’m scared for the children.
I’m scared my heart’s too tender for what comes next.
CRIERS TO THE COMMENTS 👇🏻
What’s making you feel hot? What’s making you feel spiritually well? What’s making you lift weights? What’s making you feel secure in your job?
OR
What are you scared of?
Re: #1 - If you only knew how many times during the week I think: Erin is the needle in the haystack I didn’t even know existed, so I definitely didn’t know to look for her. I can’t imagine working with another editor and Substack strategist, because so much of your work is intuitive, responsive, deeply personal, and deeply HUMAN. I don’t even know how to properly describe what you do, because it’s nothing like what I see peddled by snake oil salesmen (or available via ChatGPT).
Re: What’s scaring me - I’m scared almost all of the time, actually. Of so many things, but at the top of the list: losing every single person I love and care about to death; illness and aging - both my own and my loved ones’; losing all my freelance writing and editing work to ChatGPT; being unemployable at 50; not having a retirement fund at age 50; eventually needing to figure out how to provide for both myself and my partner, who’s 13 yrs older. Oh, and there might be a practically microscopic shard of glass in my foot since last week that is definitely going to migrate to my heart or brain (but only at 3 a.m., when I remember to think about it).
Btw, I avoid lifting weights and seem to be doing just fine with (rather intense) bodyweight exercises as part of my yoga practice.
I’m no help on a lot of this but on the bangs/fringe, my answer is Bumble and Bumble curl conditioner. Not the styling crème, but the conditioner itself. I use it as a leave in conditioner/styling product. It helps to defrizz and hold the shape of the curl, without feeling crunchy or weird. My partner's hairdresser has also recommended Authentic Beauty's curl products (in the baby blue packaging), which I also like.
Even in the apocalypse, our curls can look good! 💕