👋 Hi, fellow crier here. I even cry when I get really really mad, which is always confusing to the person I’m mad at. The last thing you want someone to do when you’re really mad at them is to comfort you, so as I’m sobbing and they are trying to hug me or something I’m shouting, “STOP HUGGING! CAN’t YOU SEE I’M MAD AT YOU?!” And of course they’re like… are you?
I love this, Jen, and I completely relate. but then I started shutting down when angry and, well, I think that's part of the whole numbing problem. the most success i've had in either situation is trying to verbalize (which you can probably tell from this essay is NOT my default and so proves intensely difficult) something like "I don't feel good about what's going on here/what you just said." and even though I sound like a huge ice queen while crying and also saying, "don't touch me" sometimes it's necessary! I am mad at you! closeness is not the move!
I totally relate Jen. I was well into my 40s before I realized that sometimes I cried from anger. Lots of deep work showed me that when I was young it was not OK for girls to be angry, but it was OK for girls to cry, so most of my anger got converted to tears 😭 Now I know to stop and ask myself if I am sad or angry. 😡
Hi Erin, I'm loving the name of your newsletter. I have always been someone who feels deeply and cries easily - I see it as a superpower amidst a very numbed-out world. One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband is because he is a crier too. Whenever I tear up watching a movie, I know I can turn to him and he'll be crying too, at the same moment, for the same reason - sometimes even at the trailers!
Long live the folks who are still connected to their hearts amidst this heart-breaking world ❤
I agree with you, dr. vicki! it's absolutely a superpower. i'm so touched that you and your hubs both have it. my boyfriend is a crier and it's helping me on my journey back to my full spectrum of sensitivity.
I stopped crying at age 4… according to my mother. Also stopped hugging her and crawling into her lap. It took me until I was nearly 50 to understand that she was (is) - mentally unstable and emotionally immature. Since then, I’ve been on an archeological dig to excavate all the suppressed tears. They’re pouring out. AND it’s hard to let them. Erin, your crying journey speaks to my weary, tear-stained heart. SO intrigued and excited for you! ❤️
paulla I can't tell you how touched I am at this comment and at the sheer fact that you're following along. thank you for being here. I imagine you are quite the expert archeologist at this point, and your expertise is so welcome!
Fellow Aquarius moon here and I am IN. I’ve always been a crier but over the past year I cried more than ever before. Now things have stabilized and part of me… misses it? There’s something so profoundly cathartic about a good cry. Like taking a yoga class, I’ve never felt WORSE after crying. So yeah, count me in!
I really stand by something going on with aquarius moons! there is something a little over-intellectualize-y about us that can really get in the way of the tears if we let it. anyway, that's a theory for another day, here's to stabilizing but not losing our sacred sensitivity!
I practiced numbing so much for most of my life that I became a world-class expert. My numbing strats kick in before I even realize there are feelings coming. I preemptively numb. I am a numbing ninja. For more than a decade, my best hope for tears is a really good movie.
Hi! I also frequently cried so hard I passed out as a toddler, and learned to cry in complete silence and stillness during the wrong times at church as a teen, and am trying to learn to feel again as a grown up. So I guess I’m part of the club, even though I can’t remember the last time I cried (I think that’s more because my brain is fried than anything. Pretty sure I cried like last week).
I don't know if I should admit this but the last thing that made me cry was my 5th watch of Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. I literally don't know why but I am GUARANTEED at this point to cry when she enters the stage each time. Also I watched one of the streams from the Miami shows and Mirrorball x Guilty As Sin made me cry too. Before the year is out I will watch this show more times and cry more.
You were right I was running off to do something else and I did take that breath with you and then I read and loved it and now I’m subscribing. Now off to the other thing without leaving a well crafted comment. I’m glad you did the thing!
I am new to your site and didn't see this when you first posted it. Well, can I relate? Mm-hmm. I've often said if crying was an Olympic sport, I'd have several gold medals. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when it rains, especially if it snows, when you cry, when I'm mad, sitting in a curtained section of the emergency room because the person in the next section is suffering (this actually has happened to me and I can come close to passing out) ... I could go on. As a young woman, I remember having to stand up to my boss, crying all the way through it, and hating myself for not being a stronger person. I didn't realize then how strong I was that I could stand up to him despite my tears. That's strength. When my son was in grade school, he came home with a picture he had drawn of the family. Mind you, my son and I had a very close relationship, which continues to this day. So when he drew a picture of the other family members smiling and me crying, I wondered about myself. He didn't mean it as a slight. It was an accurate representation of his mom. But amidst all the tears, I was happy and loved him to the moon.
Here's the deal: I slowed down at some point over the years regarding the tears shed. But I'm finding they have returned slowly, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Trust me, they'll return because it's in your nature to cry, and I don't believe we can ever shed our true nature.
This post reminded me of something Cody Cook-Parrott referenced in a recent Monday Monday post: a Muslim prayer that reads: “Lord, increase my bewilderment.” I know I don't know. All I can do is try to be present and feel every moment. And remain open. If possible.
Also, I love that you dedicated this post to Alex Dobrenko! That is one sweet and generous guy.
LETS FUKIN GO I LOVE THIS ESSAY
👋 Hi, fellow crier here. I even cry when I get really really mad, which is always confusing to the person I’m mad at. The last thing you want someone to do when you’re really mad at them is to comfort you, so as I’m sobbing and they are trying to hug me or something I’m shouting, “STOP HUGGING! CAN’t YOU SEE I’M MAD AT YOU?!” And of course they’re like… are you?
I love this, Jen, and I completely relate. but then I started shutting down when angry and, well, I think that's part of the whole numbing problem. the most success i've had in either situation is trying to verbalize (which you can probably tell from this essay is NOT my default and so proves intensely difficult) something like "I don't feel good about what's going on here/what you just said." and even though I sound like a huge ice queen while crying and also saying, "don't touch me" sometimes it's necessary! I am mad at you! closeness is not the move!
I totally relate Jen. I was well into my 40s before I realized that sometimes I cried from anger. Lots of deep work showed me that when I was young it was not OK for girls to be angry, but it was OK for girls to cry, so most of my anger got converted to tears 😭 Now I know to stop and ask myself if I am sad or angry. 😡
Please can I see the ‘I Cry Every Day’ badge
it's here! https://erinshetron.substack.com/p/i-put-dog-sht-in-my-crushs-mailbox
Yes!! I will include it in the next one <3
I came here to ask for this.
it's here! https://erinshetron.substack.com/p/i-put-dog-sht-in-my-crushs-mailbox
Hi Erin, I'm loving the name of your newsletter. I have always been someone who feels deeply and cries easily - I see it as a superpower amidst a very numbed-out world. One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband is because he is a crier too. Whenever I tear up watching a movie, I know I can turn to him and he'll be crying too, at the same moment, for the same reason - sometimes even at the trailers!
Long live the folks who are still connected to their hearts amidst this heart-breaking world ❤
I agree with you, dr. vicki! it's absolutely a superpower. i'm so touched that you and your hubs both have it. my boyfriend is a crier and it's helping me on my journey back to my full spectrum of sensitivity.
I stopped crying at age 4… according to my mother. Also stopped hugging her and crawling into her lap. It took me until I was nearly 50 to understand that she was (is) - mentally unstable and emotionally immature. Since then, I’ve been on an archeological dig to excavate all the suppressed tears. They’re pouring out. AND it’s hard to let them. Erin, your crying journey speaks to my weary, tear-stained heart. SO intrigued and excited for you! ❤️
paulla I can't tell you how touched I am at this comment and at the sheer fact that you're following along. thank you for being here. I imagine you are quite the expert archeologist at this point, and your expertise is so welcome!
Ha! My knees are dirty from all the digging but I’m no expert. You’ve GOT this. 🙏🏻
Fellow Aquarius moon here and I am IN. I’ve always been a crier but over the past year I cried more than ever before. Now things have stabilized and part of me… misses it? There’s something so profoundly cathartic about a good cry. Like taking a yoga class, I’ve never felt WORSE after crying. So yeah, count me in!
I really stand by something going on with aquarius moons! there is something a little over-intellectualize-y about us that can really get in the way of the tears if we let it. anyway, that's a theory for another day, here's to stabilizing but not losing our sacred sensitivity!
Here for this.
I practiced numbing so much for most of my life that I became a world-class expert. My numbing strats kick in before I even realize there are feelings coming. I preemptively numb. I am a numbing ninja. For more than a decade, my best hope for tears is a really good movie.
So yeah. Take me with you on your sloppy journey.
welcome, numbing ninja. i'm so happy to have you.
Hi! I also frequently cried so hard I passed out as a toddler, and learned to cry in complete silence and stillness during the wrong times at church as a teen, and am trying to learn to feel again as a grown up. So I guess I’m part of the club, even though I can’t remember the last time I cried (I think that’s more because my brain is fried than anything. Pretty sure I cried like last week).
i'm so happy you're here <3 here's to feeling again
I don't know if I should admit this but the last thing that made me cry was my 5th watch of Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. I literally don't know why but I am GUARANTEED at this point to cry when she enters the stage each time. Also I watched one of the streams from the Miami shows and Mirrorball x Guilty As Sin made me cry too. Before the year is out I will watch this show more times and cry more.
(also YAY ERIN GO ERIN)
holy shit I love knowing this about you
I’m with you. Every time she says “Anyone know the words to this bridge? Prove it!” in “cruel summer,” I cry.
You were right I was running off to do something else and I did take that breath with you and then I read and loved it and now I’m subscribing. Now off to the other thing without leaving a well crafted comment. I’m glad you did the thing!
🥹 this makes me irrationally happy thank you Hannah good luck with your next thing!
I am so here for the tenderness – but I promise, this is NOT just some silly little project <3
I am new to your site and didn't see this when you first posted it. Well, can I relate? Mm-hmm. I've often said if crying was an Olympic sport, I'd have several gold medals. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when it rains, especially if it snows, when you cry, when I'm mad, sitting in a curtained section of the emergency room because the person in the next section is suffering (this actually has happened to me and I can come close to passing out) ... I could go on. As a young woman, I remember having to stand up to my boss, crying all the way through it, and hating myself for not being a stronger person. I didn't realize then how strong I was that I could stand up to him despite my tears. That's strength. When my son was in grade school, he came home with a picture he had drawn of the family. Mind you, my son and I had a very close relationship, which continues to this day. So when he drew a picture of the other family members smiling and me crying, I wondered about myself. He didn't mean it as a slight. It was an accurate representation of his mom. But amidst all the tears, I was happy and loved him to the moon.
Here's the deal: I slowed down at some point over the years regarding the tears shed. But I'm finding they have returned slowly, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Trust me, they'll return because it's in your nature to cry, and I don't believe we can ever shed our true nature.
Weeeeewwoooowwwweeee!!! Feeling very seen and excited to read and cry more!!
welcome, cassidy! i'm so excited to have you here!!
I’m writing a thing right now for Substack about crying in other peoples’ houses. I have a crying season. I relapse with musical season.
okay wow I love that for you. yes to crying around other people! always! I'm gonna go read your piece now brb
This post reminded me of something Cody Cook-Parrott referenced in a recent Monday Monday post: a Muslim prayer that reads: “Lord, increase my bewilderment.” I know I don't know. All I can do is try to be present and feel every moment. And remain open. If possible.
Also, I love that you dedicated this post to Alex Dobrenko! That is one sweet and generous guy.
im a pisces moon and my fave past time is crying 🥲
Glad to have you! My bf is a Pisces moon too. We are big criers in this house.